What Happens When You Eat Ceviche in Peru...

So I'll start this off with I'm alive and able to eat real food again, but the past week was rough. In the picture below are the possible culprits of the worse food poisoning I will hopefully ever have in my life. The drinks are Pisco Sours, the cocktail of choice in Chile and Peru, that are made with lime, pisco, sugar syrup and egg white. The appetizer is Ceviche, raw fish in onions and tomatoe with lime, the more likely culprit. Before judging me too harshly for eating raw fish, I would like to say that A) Everyone does it and B) I've been doing it for over two months and this was the first time I ever got sick. However, it was my first time in Peru, so maybe that wasn't the wisest choice....

Anyway, so what happens. You eat the Ceviche, it tastes wonderful, and you drink the piscos and tell hilarious stories you hope everyone has forgotten by the next morning. You sleep wonderfully until 7am when you realize you are about to have the worst day of your life.

You sprint to the bathroom. The most pleasant way to say what happens next is mass exodus of anything you've eaten in the past 24 hours in any direction it can go. You crawl back into bed hoping to God no one heard and repeat this process 3 or 4 times until even your neighbors know what is going on. Luckily, you have a saintly Chilean mother who fixes you tea, puts a wet towel on your head, makes you drink water, and re-stocks the toilet paper. You also have a warm snuggly golden retriever who helps get rid of your chills- despite your fever of 38.5 degrees...whatever that means. Unluckily, you have a 5 year old sister who hasn't seen you for an entire weekend and has now declared open season on you since you can't get out of bed. Don't forget her new favorite thing is to scream Hannah Montana and Taylor Swift songs that you had the idiocy to teach her. At 3 o'clock you give up and let your mom take you to the ER. A doctor who is more serious than Franco diagnoses you with something you can't understand and your Chilean mom hasn't heard of. Then a man with an IV and one of those creepy "I'm about to jab this needle into you" smiles walks into the room. You cover your eyes and writhe on the table while he messes it up first in your left arm, then in your right, and finally gets it after a painful 3 minutes on your left wrist. You talk to the other Gringa from your group who also got food poisoning while the IV drains into you for 20 minutes and you feel much better. They send you home with a huge box of medications for God knows what and you hope they work as well as the IV. After a day you decide jello might be okay. Then jello and crackers. Then jello, crackers and rice. Slow baby steps up the food chain until you are back up to your normal hamburger with mayo and avocado eating self. That is what happens when you eat Ceviche in Peru.